Anyway, as he left I saw him catch another unsuspecting victim, but this guy wasn't your typical guy walking around. I saw him really listen to the man's story, he placed his hand on the man's shoulder, then pulled him in for a hug. He reached around to his bag and pulled out some cash and then followed the man to where he was pointing. So basically, if I am right about this guy, and he isn't just insane he probably felt guilt, even just for a minute. Here he is trying to string this guy along, and the guy is there for him, concerned and willing to help.
Unfortunately he probably didn't feel guilt, he is probably in his current situation because of his lies.
I think one of the reasons I stay in downtown is for that constant reminder of where I don't want to end up... how exactly do people get to that point? I know it is different for us all, but I feel it keeps me on track...
For people that don't live in a city, reading this I might come across as pompous, selfish, or cruel, or something of that nature... The truth is, I was very naive towards homeless people when I first moved here. I would try to help when I could (and still do when I can if I feel like the person is being creative about it or if I feel like maybe that they actually need it) but eventually you will start to see people's true colors. I really don't mean to judge, and I wouldn't but when I walk home (about a 15 min walk) I get asked for money about 5 times a night. Living in a smaller city, or a town or even a suburb you have the luxury of not taking a stance on homeless people. You can sit back and either say "Awe, that poor man, he really has it rough." and then sigh and go on about your life, or "The homeless disgust me, it's all their fault they are in their current shoes" or not even think about it. On the other hand I have to interact with them on a daily basis. I am forced to make up my mind about them and have a stance.
When I first moved to LA I worked in Hollywood, one day after work (still in the daylight) I got in my car and realized it was ransacked... when I racked my brain as to why my car hadn't been damaged, I remembered I had left the front windows open just a crack to let my car air out in the heat. I thought they would be safe, but someone clever came along and unlocked my door... I had a ton of shit in my car, all junk of course, for some reason I thought my car was my office... and let's just say I had no filing cabinets. So, papers everywhere!!! I immediately grabbed my bag to check my wallet (which was fairly hidden from the windows... my credit cards are still there... hmph... my id...hmph... Matter of fact, I don't really notice anything missing... oh... except for a handful of change. Wow, so, someone broke in for the change. I wasn't upset or offended, just appreciative of the fact that they hadn't damaged my car that I couldn't afford but needed for my commute, and hadn't stolen anything that meant something to me. I felt like, even though they stole from me, they needed it more than I did. They risked being caught, or judged etc... so, I kind of admired them for it.
My thoughts on homeless people are this: I don't know these people, they are strangers, who am I to judge them and decide if they are worthy of my money or time? But bottom line, I can hardly afford to take care of myself... and I have to feed me first. I will help them here and there... but also, I know that they didn't just appear in this role... they are grown individuals who have lived full lives and made choices... something has lead them here... and for whatever reason they either followed blindly, or weren't strong enough to fight whatever got in their way. So, I will make sure I don't follow their path...
